That's the scamp that has done this scandalous thing! That's the thief that has got my Lord Cardinal's ring!" The poor little jackdaw, When the monks he saw, Feebly gave vent to the ghost of a caw, He limped on before, Till they came to the back of the belfry door, 'Midst the sticks and the straw, Was the Ring, in the nest of that little jackdaw. Then the great Lord Cardinal called for his book, The mute expression Served in lieu of confession, And, being thus coupled with full restitution, When those words were heard, The poor little bird Was so changed, in a moment, 'twas really absurd; In addition to that, A fresh crop of feathers grew thick as a mat! Even than before; But no longer it wagged with an impudent air, At matins, at vespers, he never was out; Would give a great caw, As much as to say: "Don't do so any more!" Richard Harris Barham, abridged. First, the Lips took it up, and their reason was this: Then Eyes, not behind in the matter to be, With a sparkle began, as I've oftentimes seen 'em, And vowed, it was perfectly shocking to see Such a lump of deformity sticking between 'em. The Cheeks, with a blush, said, "the frightfulest shade, By the Nose, o'er their bloom and their beauty was thrown;" And Ears couldn't bear the loud trumpeting noise, Whenever that troublesome member was blown! So 'twas moved, and agreed, without dallying more, "By the breath of his nostrils, he'd stick to his place!" If the face had no Nose to hang spectacles on ?" "Mankind," he observed, "loved their scent, as their sight; Or who'd care a farthing for myrtles and roses? And the charge of the Lips was as frivolous quite; For, if Lips fancied kissing, pray, why mightn't Noses? As for Ears," and, in speaking, Nose scornfully curled,"Their murmurs were equally trifling and teasing, And not all the Ears, Eyes, or Lips in the world, Should keep him unblown, or prevent him from sneezing." "To the Cheeks," he continued, "he acted as screen, And from thence came the saying, so frequent in use, PERILS OF THE PAVE. JUMPING Over gutters, Men of every class, Tumbling down together. Servants of the devil, Here they very quickly Find a common level. Very sharp young fellow Tumbles on his hat. Who has ne'er been fuddled, Staggers here and falls, Dreadfully be-muddled. Corpulent old lady, Radiant with blushes, Ere she can cry "Ned," To the pavement rushes. Affluent old butcher With a solemn frown, Antiquated maiden, On the filthy curb, Witty man assisting, Says, "Trust you haven't hurt you; Judging from position, You must be gutta percha." Policeman on corner, Can't arrest his fall. If that's a falling star ?" Yellow-kidded dandy, Dressed in height of fashion, Falls into a puddle, And then into a passion. Tries to break his tumble- Here a robust, sober, Lays himself out flat, Full of gin and porter, And takes to dirty water. Smiling little girls, Charming little trippers, Slip along the pave, As if they had on slippers; Skipping over streams, No wider than their thumbs, Show their pretty teeth, And horrid ugly gums. Broken-winded horses, But seldom in the stable. Passengers in 'busses, Dreadfully aggravated, From their fellow creatures Jumping over gutters, Phila. Evening Bulletin. THE NEW BALLAD OF LORD LOVELL. Lord Lovell he sat in St. Charles's Hotel, In St. Charles's Hotel sat he, As fine a case of a Southern swell, As ever you'd wish to see. Lord Lovell the town had vowed to defend, A-waving his sword on high, He swore that his last ounce of powder he'd spend, And in the last ditch he'd die. He swore by black and he swore by blue, He had fifty thousand gallant men, Fifty thousand men had he, Who had all sworn with him that they'd never surren Der to any tarnation Yankee. He had forts that no Yankee alive could take, He had iron-clad boats a score, And batteries all around the lake, And along the river shore. Sir Farragut came with a mighty fleet, And Lord Lovell instanter began to retreat |