From Conflict to Caring
Newly updated by the authors, here is the classic text for couples interested in creating freer, more joyful, and profoundly intimate relationships. In their best-selling book about couple relationships, Jordan Paul and Margaret Paul explore the delicate balance of being true to oneself and being loved by another. While couples think they are fighting about money, sex, or time, the authors reveal how such conflicts are almost always more deeply rooted and related to issues of self-protection. Offering a solid framework for conflict resolution, the authors guide couples in working through fears
1 online resource (176 pages)
9781592859276, 1592859275
1090013780
Intro; Half Title Page; Title Page; Copyright; Dedication; Contents; Preface to the Revised Edition; Preface to the Revised Edition; Acknowledgments; Introduction; Section One: From Conflict to Intimacy; Chapter 1: Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?; Conflict and Intent: The Key; The Intent to Protect; The Intent to Learn; The Blocks to Moving from Protection to Learning; A Process Approach; How Resolutions Occur; What Do We Do Until We Find a Resolution?; Chapter 2: The Paths through Conflict; The Path of Protection and the Path of Evolution: A Step-by-Step Illustration Can You Go Directly from a Conflict into an Exploration?From Conflict to Exploration: Our Own Experience; Chapter 3: Exploration: The How of Learning; There Are Always Good Reasons; Questions That Work; Moving from Anger or Indifference to an Exploration; Becoming Aware of Intention; Exploring Together; When Your Partner Is Closed to Learning; Chapter 4: Explorations: The Process Applied; Exploring Protections; Exploring an Issue; From Conflict to Resolution: Our Own Awareness; The Goal of Explorations: Acceptance and Intimacy; The Atmosphere of an Exploration Chapter 5: Intimate Love: The Reward of ExplorationsFeeling Loved; Knowing Our Partner; Being Known-Seen, Understood, and Valued; Caring for Your Partner without Losing Yourself; Freedom and Intimacy; Safety and Intimate Love Are Mutually Exclusive; Intimate Pain; Intimate Pain Opens the Door to the Passion of Intimate Love; Intimate Sex; Intimate Joy; Section Two: Explorations on the Path of Evolution; Chapter 6: Childhood: Why We Became Protected; The Seeds of Self-Doubt; The Beginning of Power Struggles; Power Struggles: Then and Now; Chapter 7: Fears of Learning Pain as a Learning ExperienceFear of Loss of Love and Loss of Self; Acknowledging Fear and Intent Changes a Relationship; Overcoming Fear; Confronting Fear: A Personal Example; Chapter 8: Protections; Control: Protecting Me by Changing You; Protecting Me by Becoming Indifferent; Symptoms of Indifference; Resisting and Rebelling; Being a Victim; Chapter 9: Consequences of Protections; The Paradox of Protection; Types of Protective Circles; Power Struggles; Symptoms of the Protective Circles; Safety Is an Illusion; Chapter 10: Values, Beliefs, and Expectations; Unmet Expectations Questioning Our Values and BeliefsThe Belief That Devastates Relationships; Chapter 11: Freedom and Responsibility; Personal Responsibility; We Are Not Responsible for Each Other's Feelings; Caring without Taking Responsibility; Problems Are Equally Created; We Are Not Responsible for Each Other's Intent; Personal Responsibility and Freedom: An Open Marriage?; Chapter 12: Learning to Stay Open in the Face of Fear; Subtleties of the Intent to Learn; Listening to the Answers; Connecting with Your Spiritual Guidance; Trust the Process, the Answers Will Come; Taking Action
Chapter 13: Essential Connections